RA Timeline: Symptoms and Treatment

Many of you are coming to this blog in search of answers. Maybe you have an unexplainable pain in your body, maybe you want to start eating healthier, or maybe you have RA and want to know what I did to be mostly pain free now.

For those who think it might be helpful, here's a timeline that shows when my physical pain started, what medical practitioners I visited, how I changed my diet, and any other specifics that might help you along your own journey. Please let me know if you have timeline questions that I don't answer. And remember that everyone's experiences with health and healing are different, so always be in tune with the needs of your body. My experience may be very different from your own, but hopefully you can pull a few gems from my journey that will help you in your own. I've learned there's always hope!

2009
Oct 8–10: Left shoulder frozen for first time. Researched pain and seems to be bursitis. Wearing a sling.
Nov 20-23: Right shoulder frozen for first time. Bursitis. Wearing a sling.
Dec 31–Jan 2: Right shoulder frozen again. Bursitis. Wearing a sling.

2010
Jan 1–2: Right shoulder frozen. Bursitis. Wearing a sling.
Jan 4–6: Right shoulder frozen. Bursitis. Wearing a sling.
Jan 23–26: Right shoulder frozen. Bursitis. Wearing a sling.
Jan 28–29: Severe throat pain. Tender on outside of throat—can't turn head w/o throat in pain. (Ended up being connected to the RA.)
Jan 29: Teeth hurt bad. Left side. (Ended up being connected to the RA.)
Jan 30–Feb 23: Right foot in pain—second toe. (Turns out my toe had a stress fracture from wearing low heels for a few hours! What?)

Feb 17: Left elbow starts hurting for first time. Can't put any weight on it.
Feb 18: Finger joints start hurting for first time. Difficult to use fingers to dress myself, drive, tie shoes, push microwave buttons. You get the idea.
Feb 18–21: Left shoulder frozen. Bursitis. Wearing a sling.
Feb 24–25: Right wrist bone swollen and hurting for first time.
Feb 25: 1st doctor's appointment about joint pain. Anti-CCP test results high. Most likely rheumatoid arthritis, but referred to a rheumatologist for further examination and testing.

Mar 01–03: Jaw frozen for first time. Left side. (Connected to the RA.)
Mar 03–04: Left wrist bone swollen and hurting again.
Mar 03: Dad gives me a priesthood blessing. (In my religion we believe the priesthood is God's power on the earth, so if we are sick we'll often ask a priesthood holder to give us a blessing.)
Mar 08: Right hand first knuckle, on pointer finger. Swollen and painful.
Mar 08: Visit gastrointerologist about colon pain. Diet change #1: No more dairy. Diet changes that followed included no more processed foods, white flour, table sugar, table salt, and meat. Lots of whole grains and whole foods. If it grew out of the ground, I ate it.
Mar 08: 1st visit holistic practitioner about joint pain. Click here for details. Includes light & sound treatment.
Mar 09: Fingers start hurting again and continues nonstop now. Mostly left pointer and middle finger joints, and right pointer knuckle. Can't cut food anymore.
Mar 10: 1st visit with rheumatologist. Lots of X-rays. No joint damage, but stress fracture on toe. More blood work. Doctor gives me prescription for Naproxin.
Mar 11: Start taking Naproxin, but doesn't do anything for the pain. After a few weeks I decide to not take it anymore.
Mar 25: 2nd visit with rheumatologist. Blood work confirms I have RA. Ultrasound on joints show no joint damage. Very frustrated with the doctor. I don't feel heard, and she has nothing to tell me about prevention.
Mar 27–28: First time I feel like I was hit by a truck. Can barely walk or move. Can't drive because legs too weak. I am determined I will not live like this.
Mar 31–Apr 30: Elbow pain severe. Left side. Never quite stops for months, but pain gets fainter depending on the day.

Apr 06: Get a handicapped parking pass. I ask for a stronger prescription for the pain but never fill it. 
Apr 07: Orthodic insoles made for my shoes at Wasatch Orthodics, $250.
Apr 07: Purchase a Blendtec and start making green smoothies daily!!
Apr 08: Committed to daily walk through the neighborhood even if it hurts and is more like a shuffle.
Apr 24: First massage for RA. Rain drop therapy w/ essential oils. Thanks, Char!

May 06: 2nd visit with holistic practitioner. Includes light and sound treatment. (If you want to know what she told me about the RA and what caused it in me, please comment and I will share more.)
May 15–16: First time both feet are in pain. Saturday I walked a few hours in Seattle until feet hurt too bad, and then Sunday I couldn't walk unless delicately w/ shoes on around the house. Unbearable pain.
May 18: The extreme fatigue is setting in for first time.
May 27: Replace toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, lotion, and all personal care items to all-natural. Coconut oil replaced lotion and eye make-up remover.
May 29: Another Rain Drop massage from Char.

June 01: No more gluten as an experiment.
June 21: Discover Victoria Boutenko and raw food. Check out her books from library. Start experiment to not eat nightshade vegetables.
June 29: 3rd visit w/ holistic practitoner. Includes light and sound treatment.

Jul 12: Cancel appointment w/ gastrointerologist.
Jul 15: Cancel appointment w/ rheumatologist. Never go back to rheumatologist. I tell her I'm seeing progress in my health through diet change and natural & holistic medicine.
Jul 22: Start swimming 2–3 times a week.

Aug 19: 4th visit w/ holistic practioner. It's official—doctor's computer shows my body does not tolerate tomatoes, nightshade veggies, corn, gluten, peanut butter, soy, dairy. All my food eliminations are paying off. Includes light and sound treatment.
Aug 24: Attend raw foods cooking class.
Aug 31: Massage.

Sept 15: First time hip hurt.
Sept 20: Doctor appointment. Lots of abdominal pain, but everything looks okay.

Oct 04: Start water aerobic class. Water too cold for my joints, so I don't go back.
Oct 13: Start using Frankinscense essential oil my dear friend Miriam gives me.
Oct 19: 1st cranial sacral therapy visit. Focus on releasing emotional blockage in chakras to get energy flowing properly throughout the body again. Emotional blocks are often the cause of illness.
Oct 21: 5th visit w/ holistic practioner. Pain steadily dropping with each visit. Includes light and sound treatment.
Oct 26: 2nd cranial sacral therapy visit.

Nov 09: 3rd cranial sacral therapy visit.
Nov 17: Go to Brandon Flowers concert and request a chair. People get riled up that I get a special seat. My first experience w/ public being unaware and me feeling ashamed of RA. Accused of making up the pain just to get a special seat and that felt horrible.

Dec 02: 6th visit w/ holistic practitioner. Pain still dropping steadily.
Dec 11: Rain Drop massage.  
Dec 11: First time making a special exception to eat "regular" food like roast beef, canned corn, mashed potatoes, and a dinner roll. I was invited to a Sunday dinner and felt confident about my health improvements to make a diet exception. I said no to the Jell-O and pie though.

Dec 13: First cranial sacral visit with new practitioner. (I continue my visits about once a month for the first 7 months. Now I go on average every 3 months.)

Dec 16: First time going to chiropractor. I start going 2 times a week for 4 months. I stop going because I now have a good handle on what emotions trigger the physical pains Dr. Robb is adjusting me for chiropractor.

2011

Sept 25: Invited as a guest speaker to a Sunday workshop service to speak about spiritual & physical healing through Christ based on what I'd learned through my RA journey. Amazing experience! (I have a recording, so I think I will upload this in the future.)

Oct 03: First time going to acupuncture. For 10 weeks (Oct-Dec) I went 2 times a week. Then from mid Dec-Feb I went 1 time a week.

Nov 29: Start yoga again. Hooray!

Dec 2: 7th visit w/ holistic practitioner. The RA does not show up in my body anymore, and pain doesn't register on her computer. I cried the whole way home.

2012
Feb 23: I got re-evaluated today at acupuncture, and I've made so much progress I will be going only once a month now. This is huge! I was jumping for joy.

Today: I still primarily eat a gluten-free vegan/pescatarian diet. Lots of whole foods and little sugar. I eat peanut butter again and nightshade veggies, but everything in moderation. Still no soy, which I think is a good idea for most people—as little processed foods as possible makes a huge difference. If you're saying, "Please pass the green!" you're sure to be on the best path for your all-around health.

The Banana & Nut Butter Skinny Muffin

Can you tell I'm enjoying the Skinny Muffin concept? I was in a peanut butter mood this morning and thought, "Hey! Why not make a peanut butter muffin?" I think most of my enjoyment in eating something I've created is in knowing that I was the artist of my food. It's so fun! Have you come up with any new food combos lately? I'd love to hear.

Serves one

1 teaspoon coconut oil

1 tablespoon all-natural nut butter (almond, peanut, etc.)

2 tablespoons mashed banana

1 cage-free egg

1/4 cup ground flax seed

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 packet stevia

1. Put coconut oil and nut butter in a coffee mug and pop in the microwave for about 15 seconds, or till coconut oil is melted.

2. Add banana and egg to mug and beat. 

3. Add the rest of the ingredients. Stir well. 

4. Microwave 70 seconds. 

5. Remove mug from microwave and turn upside down over a plate to let muffin fall out. And, literally, it slips right out! This muffin is a beautiful golden brown.

6. Cut muffin in half and take a bite! Prepare to be amazed.

Cantaloupe-Blueberry Smoothie w/ Flax Seed

1 cup water
1 tablespoon ground flax seed (or flax seed meal)
1/2 cup blueberries
1/2 cup purple grapes
1 cup small squares cantaloupe
2 handfuls kale or chard

Optional:

Protein powder

Stevia to taste

Agave to taste

Xylitol to taste

Blend it all up in your trusty old power blender. Remember, the more frozen fruits going into your smoothie, the more water you want to add so your blender doesn't jam. Sweeten to taste with protein powder, stevia, agave, or xylitol.

The Friday Muffin

So it being Friday and all I was craving more of a "party" muffin. You know, like a muffin to let me start my Friday off with a little thrill and excitement. And that's when the perfect idea came to me. This Skinny Muffin I've been eating all week long for breakfast needed some chocolatey goodness!! Who's with me?

I looked in my fridge and what did I behold but a mason jar filled with Homemade Vegan Hot Chocolate I'd made the night before. (Basically when this hot chocolate recipe says it's "vegan," it means it's dairy free. I don't know any hot chocolate recipes to date that call for meat.)

Over night the hot chocolate I'd made had solidified a little, making it resemble a runny chocolate pudding. Perfect! So I added 2 tablespoons to the Skinny Muffin recipe and then spread a little more hot chocolate pudding on top with some coconut oil. So perfect for getting Friday started off right in a healthy-yet-chocolatey sort of way! Move over donuts. We've found The Friday Muffin.

Serves one

1 teaspoon coconut oil

1 tablespoon mashed banana

1 cage-free egg

2 tablespoons cold Homemade Vegan Hot Chocolate

1/4 cup ground flax seed

1 teaspoon baking powder

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1. Put coconut oil in a coffee mug and pop in the microwave for about 15 seconds, or till coconut oil is melted. 

2. Add banana and egg to mug and beat. 

3. Add the rest of the ingredients and stir well. 

4. Microwave 60 seconds. 

5. Remove mug from microwave and turn upside down over a plate to let muffin fall out. And, literally, it slips right out! 

6. Cut muffin in half and spread coconut oil and more hot chocolate pudding over top. 

Happy Friday to you!

The Skinny Muffin—as seen on Dr. Oz

If you're looking for a fast, easy, and healthy breakfast, here's Jorge's Skinny Muffin as part of his "lose 80 pounds belly fat" diet. This muffin is gluten free, dairy free, and vegetarian, and it's oh-so good. Who knew flax seed would make such an amazing flour! This muffin is light and fluffy, unlike any gluten-free recipe I've tried.

The recipe you see below is after a little tweaking on my part. My first attempt at the recipe created a muffin that was too bland and too dry for my liking, so I experimented with adding apple sauce and then some banana, along with some more stevia. See what you think about my changes and feel free to do your own tweaking.

Serves one

1 teaspoon coconut oil
2 tablespoons mashed banana
1 cage-free egg
1/4 cup ground flax seed
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 packets stevia (I'd avoid the Steviva brand. I personally am repulsed by the taste.)
2 tablespoons blueberries

1. Put coconut oil and banana in a coffee mug and pop in the microwave for about 15 seconds, or till coconut oil is melted. 

2. Add egg to mug and beat. 

3. Add the rest of the ingredients except the blueberries. Stir well. 

4. Now add blueberries, mixing without crushing the berries. 

5. Microwave 60 seconds. 

6. Remove mug from microwave and turn upside down over a plate to let muffin fall out. And, literally, it slips right out! 

7. Cut muffin in half and spread coconut oil over top. Add honey if you'd like it a little sweeter. ¡Buen provecho!

Food Replacement Ideas

(Coconut Oil. I spread it on like butter, and call me crazy, 
but I sometimes even eat it by the spoonful.)

Maybe, just maybe, you've noticed that once we get comfortable with a certain something in life—a route to work, a favorite snack, a way of managing our business—it's a real struggle to try something new. Why hassle? If it ain't broke, why fix it? . . . Well, maybe it is broke—maybe your body is finally physically broke—and you're still doing the same things you're always done. Well, here are a few simple replacement foods that may start to make a noticeable improvement in your health. Small steps often lead to huge morale boosts and even bigger health improvements.

Butter: Any recipe that calls for butter or vegetable oil I replace with wondrous coconut oil. Much, MUCH healthier. Coming from a person who detested coconut anything, I can say that the coconut taste is faint and the more you eat it, the more the flavor fades. Almost two years ago I experimented with scrambling eggs in coconut oil but thought the coconut oil taste was too strong. I tried it ago a few months later, after getting more used to eating coconut oil in other foods, and I didn't notice the taste like I had the first time. I don't think twice about cooking my eggs in coconut oil now, and I especially now love the hint of coconut in my green smoothies and my chocolate chip cookies!

Mayo: Rather than spreading mayonnaise on your tuna sandwich, try using homemade hummus or avocado instead. I usually mash up the avocado and then spread it on like you would the hummus. Delicious and much better for your body!

Bread: One of my favorite bread replacements is lettuce. Instead of making a sandwich with two slices of bread, make your own lettuce wrap. You can also use Eziekiel tortillas to make a little pita/taco-like sandwich.

Another long-time favorite of mine is harina P.A.N. for making arepas, a staple food in Venezuela and Colombia made from corn meal. To make an arepa you mix the corn meal with some water and a little salt until you get a great dough going on. Then with your hands you form the dough into a ball, flatten it out like a hamburger patty, and bake or cook in a frying pan. When it's cooked, slice the arepa as you would a hamburger bun, but don't cut all the way through so that you form a pocket. You can then fill the sandwich pocket with whatever goodness you'd like. I usually create a tuna mixture with chopped onions, cilantro, and chopped tomatoes. If you have any questions feel free to ask, but I will plan to do a post about making arepas.

Sugar: We are so lucky that in this day in age we have plenty of sugar replacements whether we are aware of them or not. Stevia is one, an all-natural sweetener that comes from the Stevia rebaudiana plant usually found in South America. Xylitol is also a natural sweetener but is found in most fruits and vegetables. It is equally matched with sugar in sweetness, but far exceeds sugar in health benefits such as having less calories and leading to less cavities. Xylitol is also absorbed slower by the body, so it is a better option for people with diabetes. Some other natural sugar replacements are figs, dates, raisins, applesauce, and carob. These options may not work for all recipes, but they definitely can retrain a sweet tooth.

I would say that sugar is one of the most significant replacement areas. By replacing processed sugar with natural sugars, you will notice the most energy return to your body. Some people experience sugar withdrawals in the form of a headache or even a rash or acne, as their body is detoxing, but some people don't have much of a side effect. All I can say is the withdrawals are worth getting that energy back, even if it's little by little.

This list is just to get you started, but there are plenty more replacement ideas than this! Feel free to share your favorite replacements.

The Sky, Day & Night

Ever felt like there wasn't enough space inside you to take in what your eyes were seeing? At approximately 2:15 p.m. I was sitting under the sun in the 32-degree air, soaking in the skyline of snow-peaked mountains and never-ending billowy white clouds. That brilliant sky held so many memories, and the light above felt like a longed-for-friend I hadn't even let myself hope of seeing so soon. My eyes weren't expansive enough to capture it all at once. I tried to take deeper, more thoughtful breathes and slow my mind, but I wanted it all at once. My spreading grin and fixed gaze were proclaiming what my mind was repeating, "This is my world! I live in the most beautiful place on earth!" I think the chorus of clouds was shouting joyfully back at me. I'm pretty sure I heard them.

The only true reason I would upgrade my phone is to have a constant camera on hand to capture (or attempt to capture) moments like this to share them with you. So since I don't have a picture to describe this post, close your eyes and remember what your most beautiful sky looks like. Hopefully it was today's.

And then there was the night sky on the drive home, up State to the capitol and single-file down to Beck Street. It again took my breathe away, and I was squealing with joy! And again I was exclaiming, "I live in the most beautiful place ever!" I was laughing with joy and glancing from the sky to the road and back again. The deep swirling blues met the horizon with a joyful orange that lit up the mountain silhouettes. The city lights sparkled far below, and it was pure joy. Just me and joy in my car, sharing the moment, just like C. S. Lewis talks about. Oh! And the moon! I almost forgot. It was a perfect bright sliver below the shadow of the whole.

PS: Joy came to me earlier today too. Regan, my acupuncturist, evaluated my progress and informed me that instead of coming once a week, I need only come once a month now!! After seeing him for 5 months, first twice a week and then the last month once a week, I'm now at 75% health. 100% here I come!

P.S.

My TOMS arrived today! They are more adorable than I could've imagined, and I am so incredibly happy to have them on my feet at last. Without a doubt, they were meant for me. No regrets except that I wish I hadn't freaked out a few weeks ago (see last post) and delayed the ordering process. Lesson learned. The shoes actually are a little big even though I ordered a half size smaller, as recommended by the reviewers because this style is linen instead of canvas. No big deal. Now that I see them for myself, paying the shipping to exchange them is definitely worth it.

In case you're interested, I ended up finding a promo code here to get $5 off all TOMS shoes.

Sciatic Nerve Pain

Sunday morning I was sitting at my computer looking up a certain pair of shoes on my TOMS wishlist. You know, just for fun. Just because I can't get enough of 'em. There's a pair I've been wanting, but I've been indecisive about forking out the money and if I really "need" them. In my little head I was thinking, "Hmm, I don't know if I should order these yet. Based on the reviews they're sized too big because they're linen instead of canvas. If I order the wrong size I'll have to pay even more to exchange them. And I don't have the money just yet anyway. And, Katie, do you really need them? There's still snow on the ground!" Yadda, yadda. I was fretting and killing the joy out of my beautiful shoes! I was being indecisive and downplaying my desires. When I stood up my sciatic nerve shot pain down my butt and the back of my leg, and that's when it started. My TOMS shoes were the straw that broke the camel's back. Hmm, I'm not sure I'm liking this parallel. Hah! But as I mentioned, this TOMS situation was just the breaking point—the prior week had really put me to the test with opportunities to open up to my creative abilities, to the incoming flow of money, and to possibilities of love, and I'd started out strong but then buckled, feeling a lot of fear, self-doubt, and insecurity about my abilities.

Here are the basics of what sciatica is and what it may infer physically, mentally, and emotionally.

The sciatic nerve is the longest nerve in the today and goes from the spine through the gluteus maximus and hip area down the back of the leg. It is located along the Bladder Meridian and near the Sacral Chakra, which is the 2nd chakra. It may also take in emotions associated with the Root Chakra, the 1st chakra.

Bladder Meridian
Common ailments associated with blocked energy in this meridian include the following:

•  Eye diseases  
•  Problems with the spine  
•  Ear problems  
•  Lumbago & sciatica  
•  Headaches  
•  Sexual organ dysfunctions 
•  Sinusitis  
•  Chronic cystitis  
•  Hemorrhoids 

See the picture above for an image of the Bladder Meridian. Psychologically the Bladder Meridian is associated with frustration, restlessness, impatience, and resisting change.

Sacral Chakra (2nd chakra)

•  Lessons related to sexuality, work, and physical desire. 
•  Immune system, rectum, feet, legs, bones, base of spine, physical body support.
•  Physical dysfunctions in lower back, sciatica, pelvic area, sexual function, urinary tract.
•  Mental & emotional issues with creativity, blame, guilt, money, sex, power, control. 

Root Chakra (1st chakra)

•  Lessons related to material world.
•  Sexual organs, large intestine, lower vertebrae, pelvis, appendix, bladder, hip area
•  Physical dysfunctions in lower back, sciatica, varicose veins, rectal tumors/cancer, immune-related disorders, depression.
•  Mental & emotional issues with family safety & security, ability to provide for life's necessities, ability to stand up for self, feeling at home, social & familial law and order.

Emotional Connections to Sciatica

•  Mental anxieties regarding creative abilities. 
•  Over concern of money issues.
•  Sexual frustration. 
•  Disregarding your own desires.
•  Being indecisive. 
•  Fear of money and the future.
•  Powerlessnes or giving your power away to someone or something.

I knew some of these emotional connections before, but now it totally makes sense why I am so incapacitated at the moment! Let me remind you that the past two weeks I've been intensely—and I mean day and night, conscious and unconscious—clearing all of the negative emotions and thought patterns that have been holding me back from the things I want most in my life—(1) to meet and marry the man of my dreams, (2) to embrace my creativity and support myself as an artist, and (2) to be financially free—and it just so happens that ALL of these desires of my heart are surrounding creative energy and the same emotional blockages centered in the sciatic nerve area of the body. Nice one, Katie. I'm so sorry little body of mine! I had no idea I was asking so much of you. I've had on and off sciatic nerve pain the past couple months, but nothing that's ever lasted 5 days, no sitting, no bending. This has gotta be one of the biggest blocks I've experienced, which can only mean one thing. All my dreams are about to come true!!!

(For more information about the topics mentioned above, refer to Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, You Can Heal Your Life, Quick Reference Guide for Using Essential Oils, Anatomy of the Spirit, Sacred Contracts, and http://www.sri.new-planet.net/Meridian_System.php.)

Mud Pie in the Eye

Those of you who know me well are quite aware that I'm not one to take "no" for an answer and that I vehemently live by the phrase "where there's a will there's a way." I just believe. It comes from somewhere deep within that I can't always explain. Strength or weakness of mine? It all depends on how you choose to look at it.

But as of late I've been hitting a brick wall of sorts with my faith. Here's the conclusion I've come to: It's easy for me to have faith that something will happen if it's ultimately for someone else's good. My prayers are unstoppable when I am praying for other people. You want your baby to sleep through the night? Just let me know, and I'll get on that. When I ask God for a way to help others, the answers come instantly. So why do I often feel a block when it comes to asking for what I want and need?

When I first was diagnosed with RA I told God that this was not the life for me. Why? Because I was meant to be out in the world helping people. I wanted to be healed so that I could serve others. That's a great reason, and I feel lots of passion about that cause, but what about wanting to be healed because I simply care about my own well-being? What about feeling deserving of health simply because I am a divine daughter of an immortal, all-knowing, all-powerful Creator?

In a previous post called What do you want? I wrote about how we sometimes ask for what we want but aren't in a place to receive it. The past few weeks this has been reinforced to me but with one additional piece. If I want something, I need to start by asking to be shown what is keeping me from getting it. Most of the time that blockage comes from within ourselves. This brings the responsibility back to us, empowers us (and sometimes frustrates us at the same time), and shows us how we need to change so that THEN we can receive the desires of our hearts.

So simple, right? So easy? Piece of cake. Piece of cake! . . . Well, in this case I am the first to say after what I've experienced the past few weeks, it is no piece of cake. It's more like a mud pie in the face, up your nose, and in your eyes. It's no joyride to see your weaknesses magnified or to realize that you have emotional walls up that must come down in order to have what you're asking for. It can make you feel like you went one step forward only to fall twenty steps backward down a flight of stairs.

Here's what I was most pleasantly shown this week. (By the way, sometimes I feel like the ultimate guinea pig by putting all my gunk out here in cyberspace, but time and time again I feel like it's time to share what I'm learning.) I've been listening to a series of Unlimited Abundance CDs that have been helping me know what to clear up in my own life. So I've been asking God (or the Universe or whoever your Higher Power is), "What would it take to . . . (fill in the blank with what you want in your life)?" and then asking God to clear, delete, destroy, and uncreate whatever in my belief patterns is keeping me from this.

So for example I've been saying, "What would it take to love myself enough to feel deserving of joy?" and then "Whatever is keeping me from this, I delete, destroy, and uncreate." When I do this I am visualizing this power to delete, destroy, and uncreate coming from the pure light of Christ, or Source Energy—the source of all power, all light, and all love. I literally am visualizing His light shining down on me and taking my gunk away. Personalize this however you feel comfortable.

I started out super gung-ho listening to these CDs, thinking, "Man, it's going to be awesome to finally feel worthy of joy in my life! Bring it on!" I felt energized and could already feel the abundance coming into my life. I just knew it would happen. (Don't forget I am a recovering perfectionist who still thinks she's somewhat super human.) On days five and six of listening to the CDs I felt a sudden shift happen in me and saw small signs of the blessings that were to come—more passion for my thesis research, waking up to a flood of art ideas, art canvases I'd been wanting on sale for 50% off, winning a $50 Visa gift card, a loved one suddenly connecting with me more, amazing boys coming out of the wood work, my body feeling healthier and me running again, being on the front page of the paper and the next day a random guy emailing me because he saw the paper and thought I was cute. Over all I was feeling wide open to receiving! I thought, "This is easier than I thought. I do feel deserving of this!"

Sound pretty good? Can you see me standing there with arms out-stretched to the sky, awaiting the flood of love and joy and resources and health? Eyes closed and a big smile on my face, just waiting to be given all that yummy goodness.

Then came the mud pies. Multiple mud pies. Hard and fast, pelting my face one after another. I didn't know it would sting so bad. I didn't know I would be yelling, "Retreat!" after the first 5 seconds and then feel like crap for days. I was asking to be shown my baggage, but holy cow I did not even realize what my baggage was until I got it right in the face. Things I didn't know I felt, not to mention magnified—mud pie handed to you is definitely not as up close and personal as mud pie in your eye! One of the biggest mud pies thrown at me was fear of rejection. I had no idea. Feeling that intense fear made me want to curl up in the fetal position and say good-bye to all my hopes and dreams. I was literally thinking, "Um, so I take it back. My life is great. I don't need love or joy or health or money after all. I'm good. This unbearable pain is just not worth it."

Now do you think I'm going to be as willing to stand there with my arms out-stretched again? You may call me a gluten for punishment, but what other choice do I have? We choose to either stay in our bubble that's comfortable but maybe slightly miserable and unfulfilling, or to grow despite the mud up the nose from time to time. If I can offer any solace to both you and me, after the past year and a half of this journey it's getting easier to face my baggage. Not easy but easier. Why? Because I'm getting better at giving all my burdens to the Lord and asking for exactly what I need. I love myself more, so I'm more confident to unload on Him. We can connect to our Higher Power 24-7 and by so doing feel an outpouring of unconditional love and healing light from the True Source. He lives to bless us with love and grant our heart's desires, to wipe our tears away and comfort us, to calm our troubled hearts and listen to our complaints (see "I Know that My Redeemer Lives" Text © 1775 Samuel Medley)—there is nothing too small; there is nothing too big. He lives for us!

So many times throughout this healing journey I've wanted to turn back, run, hide, curl up in a ball, and beg, "Please! No more mud pies to the face!" but then what is this life for? This post may be more for me than you— I sure do need a good cheering squad right now. At about noon today my sciatica started screaming for attention, and in a matter of minutes it became super painful to sit and walk. I shouldn't be surprised since I asked to be blatantly shown all my unresolved issues, but about now I'm pleading, "Please take this away! When will this pain end? I've tried everything. What am I missing?" I still have so much to learn. So now it's time for me to slow down even more and humbly listen. I'll let you know what I hear.

Washing Fruits and Vegetables

A friend of mine just send me a link to a blog post with a great way to wash fruits and vegetables. Instead of buying a spray bottle of expensive fruit and veggie wash, get some good ole' vinegar instead.

http://thishealthyhomemaker.blogspot.com/2012/01/you-washed-those-right.html#comment-form

Acai Purple Smoothie

Good morning! I'm LOVING the smoothie I made this morning and knew I had to share this little piece of joy with you guys.

1 1/2 cups water
1 teaspoon flax seeds
2 tablespoons fresh pomegranate seeds
1 handful purple grapes, frozen
2 large handfuls spinach, frozen
1 handful blueberries, frozen
2 large strawberries, frozen
1 acai smoothie pack, semi-frozen (I buy the Sambazon brand, which comes with 4 packs.)
1 scoop Lepterra protein powder, chocolate flavor

Add all of the ingredients to the blender in approximately this order and blend. If some of these ingredients, like the spinach or grapes, aren't frozen, lessen the amount of water so you have your preferred consistency. Before I add the acai to the blender, I soak it for a minute or so while still in it's package in some room temperature water so I can break it up with my hands. Then I cut the package open and adding the acai chunks to the blender. Enjoy!

The Pursuit of Joy

In the context of JOY, this speaks volumes.

Even though at the end of December my heart sung out that 2012 was my year of joy, and I was all pumped and ready to let the good times roll, I sure wasn't warned that in order for me to feel joy I have to change to allow it in. Change takes a lot of patience. A lot of self-care and quiet alone time to hear your spirit, or inner voice or higher self, whisper the answers, and even though I thought it would be easy to feel joy, the past few weeks have been reminding me that deep within I'm blocking it for some reason.

I thought I'd share a quick glimpse into this morning of my joints, which are my faithful reminders of how I need to change. Today they reminded me that I am not as joyful as I thought. Hah! If I'm not a happy person, I don't know what that makes some of you. (I hope that made you laugh, because I'm sure laughing!)

I woke up to stiff fingers, so I verbally released the need to control the details of life. I replaced those feelings with trust in God that He will take care of the details of life. That verbal clearing of emotions released the pain and stiffness from most of my fingers, so I went a little deeper to release more of the pain.

My right pinky in particular has been my trouble spot the past week and a half. It's tied to the Heart meridian and the ability to forgive. Each of us is made up of a balance of feminine and masculine energy—yin and yang, respectively—which govern the left and the right side of our body. So when I have blockages, or pain on the right side of my body, it is usually an imbalance of my masculine energy—pretty much an unresolved run-in with a guy. So to release the stiffness in my right pinky I sat and brainstormed men I needed to forgive. After a few minutes of verbally forgiving the men who came to mind it worked and I could bend my pinky. (The pinky pain is actually starting to come back though, so looks like I didn't do a thorough enough job. I was sort of in a hurry to get my day going, as some of you might be able to relate to.)

Then there's my right wrist, or actually a tiny bone right above that knob we call a wrist bone. I took a picture of it (below) so you can sort of see how there's a bump above my right wrist that shouldn't be there. It's really swollen and painful today, so I know this is my priority. Clearing all these painful emotions sometimes feels like a chore chart, which honestly sucks the joy out of healing.

Left wrist, no extra bump. 

 Right wrist, swollen extra bump.

And while we're on the topic of sucking the joy out of life, let's talk about how as I was awkwardly taking these pictures with my left hand and a hurt right wrist, trying to hurry before the camera battery died, my cute lime green tea kettle started whistling. I was trying to ignore it to get these pictures right and then my joy muscle in my back started throbbing!! Talk about hilarious. (Click here if you haven't read about the joy muscle yet.) Who else is lucky enough to have their body inflict instant pain to tell them to chill and just enjoy the moment? I know a few of you lucky RA folk who do, but I guarantee that the more you become aware of your emotions, all of you will start to feel your body talking to you. Maybe you ate too much and now your stomach is in pain. What is your body telling you? Or maybe you've been racing around all day trying to get everything done and now you have a monster headache, or maybe you lost your temper and were short with a loved one, and now you feel restless and guilty. We all have bodies that talk to us, but some of us just have chosen to ignore them long enough that now they scream at us the instant our emotions are off balance.

Back to the wrist. This wrist bone is part of the Small Intestine meridian, which is our meridian of joy. Starting to see a pattern here? When there's blockage in our Small Intestine meridian it's often associated with sadness, grief, and despair. Dating is the current culprit, as well as another big issue that's caused a lot of sadness in my life, so I'm dreading going deeper here because I know it won't be as easy. It'll probably take a few solid hours of prayer, meditation, scripture reading, yoga, nature, and any other way I feel led to fill my Mind, Body, & Spirit with light. Most days I can't dedicate solid hours to my health, but today it's important enough that I am going to. I truly believe (at least right now while I'm at a semi-positive place) that I can find joy in dating and be incredibly happy once I shift my perspective and release some false beliefs that are holding me back.

A week ago I was not so positive and luckily had Sam to vent to. Venting was the first step for me to get back up again, then I did a chakra meditation (I'll share part of this in another post) that shifted my attitude completely, and then I turned my heart to Christ for probably the hundred millionth time. Every time it's like, "Oh, yeah. You're here. I forgot I don't have to do this all myself!" Then the clouds part and the fog lifts and I can go a little further again.

Lavender Essential Oil

Lavender (lavandula augustifolia) is known as the "swiss army knife" of essential oils because of it's versatility. Some of it's primary benefits are it can balance and normalize body functions, promote tissue regeneration, speed up wound healing, can sooth and relax the mind and body, can ease body aches and pains, and can clean cuts, bruises and skin irritations.

It is one of my favorite essential oils and I use it often. I like to add a couple drops to a soap gel in a warm bath for relaxation, have put a drop on my palms and spread on my pillow at night and have found it to be very soothing, and often dilute a drop with coconut oil and spread on my face to help with acne scars and have noticed a difference in my skin. The other day I put it on my wrists and earlobes while being a chaperone for my daughter's kindergarten class and it was very calming. Yesterday my youngest son was jumped on by several small dogs on his bare legs which left scratches and a small bruise. I diluted a drop of lavender oil with some coconut oil and spread it over his legs. This morning the scratches were mostly gone and the bruise looked like it had been healing for several days.

One interesting thing I have read is that it can actually stop bleeding by adding a few drops to a wound. There are also other oils that are known for being able to do this as well. How about adding some essential oils to your first aid kit?

Here are a few of the many ways it can be used:

• Soothe minor burns by applying 2–3 drops to the affected area.
• Rub oil on dry or chapped skin to moisturize the affected area.
• Add a few drops to a cotton ball and place it in closets and drawers to scent linens and repel moths and insects.
• May be able to minimize the appearance of scar tissue by massaging the oil on or around affected areas.
• Place a few drops on a wet cloth or dryer sheet to deodorize and freshen your laundry.
• Diffuse to minimize seasonal discomforts.
• Diffuse to set the mood for a social gathering.
• Diffuse or inhale to calm your mind, body, and spirit after a hard day’s work.
• Inhale to soothe and relax the body and mind.
• Make an herbal tea by mixing 2 drops of lavender essential oil (therapeutic grade) with 1 teaspoon of blue agave syrup and adding to warm water.
• Add 4–5 drops to a bath gel base and use in warm bath for relaxation.
• Drop 1–2 drops on your pillow to aid in a restful night of sleep.
• Massage several drops on feet to promote relaxation. 

 (Info from YoungLiving.com)
*I recommend only buying therapeutic grade essential oil from reputable companies, especially if you are going to use them internally.

Open to Everything and Attached to Nothing

(Images taken in Cypress, Greece, © 2008 Katie Newbold.)

In 2005 two close friends and I traveled back to Venezuela. We’d lived there together a few years previous and had been taught a richer way to live and a deeper way to love. We missed our dear friends, and we were also ready to take our life’s adventures into Canaima to sleep in the jungle for a few nights and hike to Angel Falls, the tallest waterfall in the world.

One Sunday during our trip we were sitting in the chapel of Las Brisas in Maturin, and the Sunday School lesson was on the Word of Wisdom. (Click here to read a previous post explaining the Word of Wisdom.) The teacher was outlining what the Word of Wisdom counseled us on food and what substances aren’t so great for the body. A man in the back raised his hand, made a comment, and then ended by saying, “The Word of Wisdom doesn’t address food combinations, though. Eating rice with pineapple isn’t good on the stomach,” mentioning some other bad food combos I don’t remember. My two friends and I rolled our eyes and whispered to each other, “Who is this crazy guy?” We obviously knew better because we were American with modern medicine and common sense, right?

Well come to find out, this man actually does have a foot to stand on, as many of you may know. Just yesterday, actually, I spoke on the phone with a university about their PhD program in holistic nutrition. The woman told me that the school nutrition program is based on an alkaline and acidic diet, and I told her how by following an alkaline/acidic, 80/20 eating pattern I was able to eliminate a lot of my rheumatoid arthritis pain. She told me that in this program I would learn how improper food combinations can spike RA pain even if I am eating an alkaline diet. Ah-ha. 

I have to admit that there have been many moments in my 30 years on this planet where I’ve thought I’ve known more than another person or that my way was better. I still find myself falling into that category time and time again. Except now I’ve adopted some of those very same outlandish beliefs I once snubbed and am on the other side of the table now. It's been a long humbling road, but I’d like to say I'm now at a place in life to be open to more, if not all, possibilities. It's so freeing! I'm much happier this way and much more guided. I seem to receive answers to my prayers much easier now too, because before if an answer wasn't in my line of vision, it didn't exist or couldn't possibly be my answer. No wonder we start thinking God doesn't hear us.

In January of last year my dear friend Andrea challenged me in the best way possible. She asked me what it would feel like to be open to everything. To let go and be guided and be open to every possibility, not clinging to what is familiar. One year ago began my quest to be “open to everything and attached to nothing,” and it has spurred my healing process one hundred fold. If I’d remained in my box of what was familiar and comfortable, I would’ve kept getting the same results—illness, stagnancy in life, a limited perspective, and the same level of faith.

In the many books I’ve read that tie negative emotions to physical illness, the overlying emotional cause of rheumatoid arthritis is being rigid and trying to control the details of life. By initially taking on that challenge to open myself up to everything and let go of familiar ground, I was literally paving a path of healing in that very act! Being flexible and open is still a struggle for me, although I’ve made so much progress in the last year. Recently I’ve been going even deeper within myself to cut off limiting beliefs and better understand why I feel a need to be rigid, controlling, or a perfectionist, and all I can say is I’ve never done anything so difficult in my entire life, but I’ve never been so close to my Savior, Jesus Christ. Even if no one else understands what we’re struggling with, He does and He will always be right there with us to ease our burdens and feel our pain. 

(Images taken in Cypress, Greece, © 2008 Katie Newbold.)

Part 1: Release Emotion, Release Physical Pain

(Images copyright 2012, Scientific Research Institute, Inc.)

Although we know that our health improves when we release negative emotions, many (if not most) of us aren't aware of our thoughts, let alone if our thoughts are negative. So how do we release all those negative thoughts and feelings that don't serve us if we're not even aware we're creating them?

I will be the first to admit that before I started on this health journey I was completely unaware of my thoughts. Sure I heard some of them, but I had no idea how critical I was of myself. I'm generally a very upbeat, high-energy person with a positive outlook on life, so how could I possibly be telling myself negative garbage inside? Once I started listening, all day long I heard my inner voices tell myself that I wasn't good enough. I started to be aware of the constant guilt I was feeling for not being everything for everyone and the constant worry of wanting others to approve of me and love me. Not until the blessed gift of rheumatoid arthritis (RA) came into my life almost 2 years ago did I have a reason to slow down, get in tune with my feelings, and start to hear my inner thoughts. And boy do those thoughts rush through your mind in milliseconds! They come and go just as fast as you glance at a stranger or overhear a conversation or read a phrase in an email, but even though they come and go without you even being aware, those triggers often leave you an emotional disaster—tense, anxious, and worried without even knowing why. Then has to start the process of elimination to remember what event and/or thought initially started that shift in emotion to be able to make a change and get back to a higher, healthier emotional state.

I had to really slow down and listen to myself to finally see the connection of my thoughts to my feelings and then to my physical pain. It is an all-out miracle that I started to see these connections, and I could write volumes about how I became aware of those inner voices and started to heal, but for now I will share just one blog post–worth of experience. Remember, I am still new to these roads, and even though it's been a year and a half of getting in tune with my Mind, Body, & Spirit, it's still a lot of trial and error. Lucky for me I have the physical joint and muscle pain as a marker. If I release the right emotions, the pain leaves. If I don't pin point the right emotion and situation, I keep brainstorming until I get it right and the pain leaves. And sometimes I never get it and the pain stays with me for a day or three—sometimes very frustrating when you think you should be able to locate the problem after doing this for a year!

So you may ask, how do you even begin to know what pain came from what emotion? Good question. When I started first started out I used the two books You Can Heal Your Life and Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. They have a helpful list of physical ailments and the possible emotional connection. This was enough for me at first, but then I wanted to better understand where they got this information. 

This took my studies into Eastern medicine to learn the chakras—the seven energy centers of the body. The chakras are part of our etheric, or spiritual, body of light and energy. Negative emotions and illness block this energy and light from flowing throughout the body. This light and energy is often called chi or qi or the Life Force, which I also refer to it as the Light of Christ. We cannot live without this light and energy, and every living organism, every creation of God, has this energy and light running through them. When there are no blockages we are balanced and healthy. Each of the seven chakras are centers for a different grouping of emotions, from ego and self-esteem in the Third Chakra to will and self-expression in the Fifth Chakra to spirituality in the Seventh Chakra. To learn the chakras and the possible corresponding health problems I used the book Anatomy of the Spirit as my guide.

Once I had a grasp on the chakras I went deeper to learn the meridians of Chinese medicine, which are the energy pathways that connect the chakras to one another. I've been going to a homeopathic doctor since 2003 who primarily works with the meridians to find the cause of a health problem, but I'd never felt the need to better understand the meridians until now—now that I am aware I can locate the negative emotions I am feeling that are causing my physical pain. Some of the meridians are the Large Intestine, the Lung, the Kidney (which includes the adrenals), the Bladder, the Gallbladder, the Small Intestine, the Heart, the Pericardium, the Triple Warmer, the Stomach, the Spleen-Pancreas, and the Liver. Every meridian corresponds with specific emotions.

So let's say if the small intestine meridian is showing energy blockage, this could mean that the person is unhappy with life and is experiencing real sadness and grief. If this sadness and grief goes on for too long, physically that person may have lots of ear infections, shoulder and elbow pain, digestion problems, sinus problems, and/or fibromyalgia, arthritis, bursitis, or other problems with the joints and connective tissue. I use a few websites as my meridian resources, so click here to go to one of them.

See Part II for specific examples of identifying negative thoughts and emotions and releasing them. 

Part II: Release Emotion, Release Physical Pain

(Image copyright 2004, Australian Myasthenic Association in NSW)

To continue on from Part I of Releasing Emotions, here is an example of how I typically become attune to my negative emotions and release them:

As I was commuting home yesterday I was drastically aware of my improved posture. No tugging on my shoulders to go forward. They were relaxed and back, which I attribute to just starting yoga again. I've only done yoga 3 times in the past 2 weeks, but I've been focusing a lot on my postures, so I was extremely happy at how strong my back is already feeling.

I was noticing my posture in particular because my "joy muscle" wasn't hurting. This muscle is located in your back, just alongside the shoulder blade. (Anyone know the name of this muscle in Western medicine and anatomy? I think it's the rhomboid muscles, based on The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook.*) As I got used to looking for patterns in my physical pain, I noticed this muscle in my back consistently hurting whenever I felt guilty for putting off work, so I started calling it my "guilt muscle." Well, much to my amazement, when I told my acupuncturist Regan about my "guilt muscle," he said, "Oh, your 'joy muscle'? Yeah, the joy muscle tightens when you're blocking joy." Hmmm. Well what do ya know. Chinese medicine calls it the joy muscle. Interesting, huh?

So anyways, my joy muscle's been hurting consistently the past few weeks, but on my drive home it felt great! It made me reflect on my day, which I then realized I'd really enjoyed. I'd slept in and missed my first class (yep, first week of school), but then it'd been a great afternoon with having invited community partners who work with the refugee population to come speak to our students—I love interacting with people and busily running here and there. Then I worked on my thesis a little bit, gathering SketchUp projects from boys on the autism spectrum who participate in our research, and then I went to my Theory of Attachment class, which is going to be deep and full of great discussion and self-discovery. I'm really looking forward to this semester.

Upon that happy reflection I thought it was no wonder my joy muscle was content and relaxed—I was allowing myself to feel the joys of my life. Then I glanced at the clock in my car—5:03 p.m.—and mentally scanned my fridge at home for food. I thought about making a veggie burger, but I knew it would take too long to cook the rice and then let it cool. I was starving and wished I had leftovers to eat as soon as I got home. This whole interchange of thoughts happened in seconds, and without me realizing it, my emotions were shifting downward. I wasn't aware of this shift until my joy muscle started to tense up again. It was incredible how fast it happened! Instantly, which isn't always the case with me, I stopped my thoughts and said out loud, "What just happened?" I back tracked in my thoughts and realized I was choosing to feel annoyed with my food situation. I was feeling like cooking was a drudgery and that I was dreading it. I was unhappy with my everyday circumstances. I was blocking joy from my life.

In that moment I canceled out all of those thoughts. Verbally expressing emotions literally frees your Mind, Body, & Spirit from the blockage these emotions can potentially create in your energy flow. So while I was driving I verbally released all feelings of my life being hard or a drudgery. Out loud I basically said, "I choose to release and let go of all annoyance at having to make my dinner because it takes so long. I release all frustration and anger at not already having food to eat. I release all feelings of not being worthy of feeling joy in cooking or enjoying my life." You get the picture. After I verbally released all of the negative emotions I was feeling, I tapped my thymus 12 times with my fingers. Your thymus is a gland located under your sternum. (To read more about the thymus gland, go here and here. I haven't done much study in this area, so feel free to share what you learn about the thymus's role in healing the Mind, Body, & Spirit. I know it has to do with its function with the immune system and stimulating the thymus to produce T-cells, but I don't know how it works exactly.)

After tapping my thymus, I put my hand on my belly and took a few long deep inhales and exhales. I won't get into the details of this now, but I do a lot of visualization while I'm doing this deep breathing to help me feel like I'm really and truly releasing this burden of negative emotions. Any way you choose, see yourself releasing a weight of emotions. It can be symbolic. It can be the first thing that comes to your mind. Then I put my hand on my heart and verbally replace all the negative emotions with positive "I am" statements. So in this case I said things like, "I am patient and love my life. I am grateful for the abundance of food that surrounds me. I am full of joy! I am creative and quick thinking. I am at peace with the flow of my life. I am worthy of feeling joy in my everyday experiences." So that is one way to release negative emotions, release physical pain, and get your energy flowing again.

When I start to feel my body tense up or my emotions shift downward, I know it's time to pause, reflect on recent events, and release negative emotions. The more you slow down, as I know you all know, the easier it is to be more connected to your thoughts and emotions. Even if you aren't currently experiencing physical pain from unprocessed/unexpressed emotions, releasing those emotions improves your energy level and mood, and prevents physical illness from happening.

Since this post became a lot longer than I thought it'd be, future posts are to come with more of my experiences with releasing emotions and seeing the physical pain disappear. This may be a lot of new information at once, so try it out for yourself and see how you see a difference in your life.


*"Trigger point muscles in the rhomboids cause an aching kind of pain along the inner edge of the shoulder blade, which becomes more noticeable at rest. A significant amount of pain at this site may also be coming from the serratus posterior superior muscle, which lies beneath the rhomboids, and from the middle trapezius covering them. There may be trigger points in all three layers. Other muscles that send pain to the inner edge of the shoulder blade include the scaliness, infraspinatus, latissimus dorsi, serratus anterior, and levitator scapulae," (85, The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook). 

Counterfit Products

Since I have been posting about essential oils, there are things you should know before purchasing them. Here is a great article written by a friend of Katie about adulterated oils.

http://essentialsurvival.org/adulterated-essential-oils

Best Dinner Ever

 

I know Katie already posted about this but I thought I would share a picture of one of my favorite dinners and it was so easy! I baked red potatoes, carrots, purple and yellow onions, whole green onions, zucchini, sliced oranges, and pieces of fresh rosemary coated with olive oil and salt and pepper. It was served with roasted garlic and olive oil couscous.

Tonight I am going to get even more adventurous and use eggplant, anise (fennel), and yellow squash.

Blueberry Banana Smoothie w/ Lime

Plus some other ingredients that didn't fit in the title. Like an orange. Some spinach. And some flax seed. Here're the basic proportions I blended up for breakfast this morning. I'm loving the kick of lime!

1 cup water
1 teaspoon flax seeds
1 orange, peeled and quartered
1/2 cup blueberries, frozen
1/4 large banana, frozen
3 handfuls spinach, frozen
1 tablespoon (give or take) fresh lime juice
1 scoop Lepterra chocolate protein powder
8 ice cubes (which I added after I'd blended all the other ingredients—I just kept adding ice cubes till the consistency was how I like it.)