Sciatic Nerve Pain

Sunday morning I was sitting at my computer looking up a certain pair of shoes on my TOMS wishlist. You know, just for fun. Just because I can't get enough of 'em. There's a pair I've been wanting, but I've been indecisive about forking out the money and if I really "need" them. In my little head I was thinking, "Hmm, I don't know if I should order these yet. Based on the reviews they're sized too big because they're linen instead of canvas. If I order the wrong size I'll have to pay even more to exchange them. And I don't have the money just yet anyway. And, Katie, do you really need them? There's still snow on the ground!" Yadda, yadda. I was fretting and killing the joy out of my beautiful shoes! I was being indecisive and downplaying my desires. When I stood up my sciatic nerve shot pain down my butt and the back of my leg, and that's when it started. My TOMS shoes were the straw that broke the camel's back. Hmm, I'm not sure I'm liking this parallel. Hah! But as I mentioned, this TOMS situation was just the breaking point—the prior week had really put me to the test with opportunities to open up to my creative abilities, to the incoming flow of money, and to possibilities of love, and I'd started out strong but then buckled, feeling a lot of fear, self-doubt, and insecurity about my abilities.

Here are the basics of what sciatica is and what it may infer physically, mentally, and emotionally.

The sciatic nerve is the longest nerve in the today and goes from the spine through the gluteus maximus and hip area down the back of the leg. It is located along the Bladder Meridian and near the Sacral Chakra, which is the 2nd chakra. It may also take in emotions associated with the Root Chakra, the 1st chakra.

Bladder Meridian
Common ailments associated with blocked energy in this meridian include the following:

•  Eye diseases  
•  Problems with the spine  
•  Ear problems  
•  Lumbago & sciatica  
•  Headaches  
•  Sexual organ dysfunctions 
•  Sinusitis  
•  Chronic cystitis  
•  Hemorrhoids 

See the picture above for an image of the Bladder Meridian. Psychologically the Bladder Meridian is associated with frustration, restlessness, impatience, and resisting change.

Sacral Chakra (2nd chakra)

•  Lessons related to sexuality, work, and physical desire. 
•  Immune system, rectum, feet, legs, bones, base of spine, physical body support.
•  Physical dysfunctions in lower back, sciatica, pelvic area, sexual function, urinary tract.
•  Mental & emotional issues with creativity, blame, guilt, money, sex, power, control. 

Root Chakra (1st chakra)

•  Lessons related to material world.
•  Sexual organs, large intestine, lower vertebrae, pelvis, appendix, bladder, hip area
•  Physical dysfunctions in lower back, sciatica, varicose veins, rectal tumors/cancer, immune-related disorders, depression.
•  Mental & emotional issues with family safety & security, ability to provide for life's necessities, ability to stand up for self, feeling at home, social & familial law and order.

Emotional Connections to Sciatica

•  Mental anxieties regarding creative abilities. 
•  Over concern of money issues.
•  Sexual frustration. 
•  Disregarding your own desires.
•  Being indecisive. 
•  Fear of money and the future.
•  Powerlessnes or giving your power away to someone or something.

I knew some of these emotional connections before, but now it totally makes sense why I am so incapacitated at the moment! Let me remind you that the past two weeks I've been intensely—and I mean day and night, conscious and unconscious—clearing all of the negative emotions and thought patterns that have been holding me back from the things I want most in my life—(1) to meet and marry the man of my dreams, (2) to embrace my creativity and support myself as an artist, and (2) to be financially free—and it just so happens that ALL of these desires of my heart are surrounding creative energy and the same emotional blockages centered in the sciatic nerve area of the body. Nice one, Katie. I'm so sorry little body of mine! I had no idea I was asking so much of you. I've had on and off sciatic nerve pain the past couple months, but nothing that's ever lasted 5 days, no sitting, no bending. This has gotta be one of the biggest blocks I've experienced, which can only mean one thing. All my dreams are about to come true!!!

(For more information about the topics mentioned above, refer to Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, You Can Heal Your Life, Quick Reference Guide for Using Essential Oils, Anatomy of the Spirit, Sacred Contracts, and http://www.sri.new-planet.net/Meridian_System.php.)

The Pursuit of Joy

In the context of JOY, this speaks volumes.

Even though at the end of December my heart sung out that 2012 was my year of joy, and I was all pumped and ready to let the good times roll, I sure wasn't warned that in order for me to feel joy I have to change to allow it in. Change takes a lot of patience. A lot of self-care and quiet alone time to hear your spirit, or inner voice or higher self, whisper the answers, and even though I thought it would be easy to feel joy, the past few weeks have been reminding me that deep within I'm blocking it for some reason.

I thought I'd share a quick glimpse into this morning of my joints, which are my faithful reminders of how I need to change. Today they reminded me that I am not as joyful as I thought. Hah! If I'm not a happy person, I don't know what that makes some of you. (I hope that made you laugh, because I'm sure laughing!)

I woke up to stiff fingers, so I verbally released the need to control the details of life. I replaced those feelings with trust in God that He will take care of the details of life. That verbal clearing of emotions released the pain and stiffness from most of my fingers, so I went a little deeper to release more of the pain.

My right pinky in particular has been my trouble spot the past week and a half. It's tied to the Heart meridian and the ability to forgive. Each of us is made up of a balance of feminine and masculine energy—yin and yang, respectively—which govern the left and the right side of our body. So when I have blockages, or pain on the right side of my body, it is usually an imbalance of my masculine energy—pretty much an unresolved run-in with a guy. So to release the stiffness in my right pinky I sat and brainstormed men I needed to forgive. After a few minutes of verbally forgiving the men who came to mind it worked and I could bend my pinky. (The pinky pain is actually starting to come back though, so looks like I didn't do a thorough enough job. I was sort of in a hurry to get my day going, as some of you might be able to relate to.)

Then there's my right wrist, or actually a tiny bone right above that knob we call a wrist bone. I took a picture of it (below) so you can sort of see how there's a bump above my right wrist that shouldn't be there. It's really swollen and painful today, so I know this is my priority. Clearing all these painful emotions sometimes feels like a chore chart, which honestly sucks the joy out of healing.

Left wrist, no extra bump. 

 Right wrist, swollen extra bump.

And while we're on the topic of sucking the joy out of life, let's talk about how as I was awkwardly taking these pictures with my left hand and a hurt right wrist, trying to hurry before the camera battery died, my cute lime green tea kettle started whistling. I was trying to ignore it to get these pictures right and then my joy muscle in my back started throbbing!! Talk about hilarious. (Click here if you haven't read about the joy muscle yet.) Who else is lucky enough to have their body inflict instant pain to tell them to chill and just enjoy the moment? I know a few of you lucky RA folk who do, but I guarantee that the more you become aware of your emotions, all of you will start to feel your body talking to you. Maybe you ate too much and now your stomach is in pain. What is your body telling you? Or maybe you've been racing around all day trying to get everything done and now you have a monster headache, or maybe you lost your temper and were short with a loved one, and now you feel restless and guilty. We all have bodies that talk to us, but some of us just have chosen to ignore them long enough that now they scream at us the instant our emotions are off balance.

Back to the wrist. This wrist bone is part of the Small Intestine meridian, which is our meridian of joy. Starting to see a pattern here? When there's blockage in our Small Intestine meridian it's often associated with sadness, grief, and despair. Dating is the current culprit, as well as another big issue that's caused a lot of sadness in my life, so I'm dreading going deeper here because I know it won't be as easy. It'll probably take a few solid hours of prayer, meditation, scripture reading, yoga, nature, and any other way I feel led to fill my Mind, Body, & Spirit with light. Most days I can't dedicate solid hours to my health, but today it's important enough that I am going to. I truly believe (at least right now while I'm at a semi-positive place) that I can find joy in dating and be incredibly happy once I shift my perspective and release some false beliefs that are holding me back.

A week ago I was not so positive and luckily had Sam to vent to. Venting was the first step for me to get back up again, then I did a chakra meditation (I'll share part of this in another post) that shifted my attitude completely, and then I turned my heart to Christ for probably the hundred millionth time. Every time it's like, "Oh, yeah. You're here. I forgot I don't have to do this all myself!" Then the clouds part and the fog lifts and I can go a little further again.

Part 1: Release Emotion, Release Physical Pain

(Images copyright 2012, Scientific Research Institute, Inc.)

Although we know that our health improves when we release negative emotions, many (if not most) of us aren't aware of our thoughts, let alone if our thoughts are negative. So how do we release all those negative thoughts and feelings that don't serve us if we're not even aware we're creating them?

I will be the first to admit that before I started on this health journey I was completely unaware of my thoughts. Sure I heard some of them, but I had no idea how critical I was of myself. I'm generally a very upbeat, high-energy person with a positive outlook on life, so how could I possibly be telling myself negative garbage inside? Once I started listening, all day long I heard my inner voices tell myself that I wasn't good enough. I started to be aware of the constant guilt I was feeling for not being everything for everyone and the constant worry of wanting others to approve of me and love me. Not until the blessed gift of rheumatoid arthritis (RA) came into my life almost 2 years ago did I have a reason to slow down, get in tune with my feelings, and start to hear my inner thoughts. And boy do those thoughts rush through your mind in milliseconds! They come and go just as fast as you glance at a stranger or overhear a conversation or read a phrase in an email, but even though they come and go without you even being aware, those triggers often leave you an emotional disaster—tense, anxious, and worried without even knowing why. Then has to start the process of elimination to remember what event and/or thought initially started that shift in emotion to be able to make a change and get back to a higher, healthier emotional state.

I had to really slow down and listen to myself to finally see the connection of my thoughts to my feelings and then to my physical pain. It is an all-out miracle that I started to see these connections, and I could write volumes about how I became aware of those inner voices and started to heal, but for now I will share just one blog post–worth of experience. Remember, I am still new to these roads, and even though it's been a year and a half of getting in tune with my Mind, Body, & Spirit, it's still a lot of trial and error. Lucky for me I have the physical joint and muscle pain as a marker. If I release the right emotions, the pain leaves. If I don't pin point the right emotion and situation, I keep brainstorming until I get it right and the pain leaves. And sometimes I never get it and the pain stays with me for a day or three—sometimes very frustrating when you think you should be able to locate the problem after doing this for a year!

So you may ask, how do you even begin to know what pain came from what emotion? Good question. When I started first started out I used the two books You Can Heal Your Life and Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. They have a helpful list of physical ailments and the possible emotional connection. This was enough for me at first, but then I wanted to better understand where they got this information. 

This took my studies into Eastern medicine to learn the chakras—the seven energy centers of the body. The chakras are part of our etheric, or spiritual, body of light and energy. Negative emotions and illness block this energy and light from flowing throughout the body. This light and energy is often called chi or qi or the Life Force, which I also refer to it as the Light of Christ. We cannot live without this light and energy, and every living organism, every creation of God, has this energy and light running through them. When there are no blockages we are balanced and healthy. Each of the seven chakras are centers for a different grouping of emotions, from ego and self-esteem in the Third Chakra to will and self-expression in the Fifth Chakra to spirituality in the Seventh Chakra. To learn the chakras and the possible corresponding health problems I used the book Anatomy of the Spirit as my guide.

Once I had a grasp on the chakras I went deeper to learn the meridians of Chinese medicine, which are the energy pathways that connect the chakras to one another. I've been going to a homeopathic doctor since 2003 who primarily works with the meridians to find the cause of a health problem, but I'd never felt the need to better understand the meridians until now—now that I am aware I can locate the negative emotions I am feeling that are causing my physical pain. Some of the meridians are the Large Intestine, the Lung, the Kidney (which includes the adrenals), the Bladder, the Gallbladder, the Small Intestine, the Heart, the Pericardium, the Triple Warmer, the Stomach, the Spleen-Pancreas, and the Liver. Every meridian corresponds with specific emotions.

So let's say if the small intestine meridian is showing energy blockage, this could mean that the person is unhappy with life and is experiencing real sadness and grief. If this sadness and grief goes on for too long, physically that person may have lots of ear infections, shoulder and elbow pain, digestion problems, sinus problems, and/or fibromyalgia, arthritis, bursitis, or other problems with the joints and connective tissue. I use a few websites as my meridian resources, so click here to go to one of them.

See Part II for specific examples of identifying negative thoughts and emotions and releasing them.