Wheatgrass Shots

A new thing I have been experimenting with is making wheatgrass shots. I purchased some wheatgrass plants at the grocery store in the produce section. Typically people make their wheatgrass shots by juicing them, but since I don't own a juicer I have been blending them in my BlendTec blender with a small amt of water. I have read that it is best to start with a small amt and work your way up. Make sure you wash your wheatgrass thoroughly before juicing or blending them. I'll be honest though, it doesn't taste very good, but you get used to it.

Wheatgrass is said to be a strong detoxifier, helps with blood flow, digestion, and cleanses the blood. Here are some websites with information:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheatgrass
http://www.wheatgrass.me/
http://www.all4naturalhealth.com/wheat-grass-juice.html

Two Months of Drinking Green Smoothies

It's been almost 2 months since I started drinking green smoothies. I began with drinking 2 1/2 cups of smoothie a day, and have worked up to 5 cups (1.25 L). I have also started adding supplements such as bee pollen, brewers yeast, and protein powder. I noticed a difference in how I felt almost immediately. I felt energized. I began craving the green drink and looked forward to having more.

I have been training for a half marathon and within 2 weeks I drastically improved. One day I dropped 30 seconds per mile and have maintained that. Last Saturday I went on a 10 mile run at a comfortable pace and ended up running 7:52 minute miles. Now after almost 2 months, this week I have started to run another 10 - 15 seconds faster per mile. I have been running again since June and have not had such drastic improvements until I started drinking green smoothies.

In the last few weeks I have been having an easier time waking up in the morning and feel more happy. I have not felt myself since having my second child 4 1/2 years ago and I am beginning to feel the old me coming back. I am slowly beginning to have more patience with my children and feel more able to handle them. My skin is starting to clear up and I am losing weight. I am also working on eating more healthy in general and eating less meat.

Another aspect to drinking the smoothies is that I have had some weird symptoms which I read are called detox symptoms. After a few weeks I got a cold and cough that has lasted for a long time, and is still lingering now. I have had some very bizarre skin issues. Acne, sudden dry patches that come and go, red blotchy itchy spots. I had times where I felt very fatigued, light headed, have had headaches, and a hard time focusing my eyes. Very random strange things that come and go. I did some research to find out that these symptoms are all very normal when you start drinking green smoothies and change your diet. These symptoms can mean your body is cleansing itself and getting rid of toxins, or that your body is releasing toxins faster than it can get rid of them. These symptoms can also be withdrawal symptoms if you drink coffee, tea, or caffeinated soda. http://ezinearticles.com/?Detox-Symptoms---How-to-Cope-With-Them&id=1939469

Something in the Green

Last night I was at the library working on homework when I realized I wasn't tired. It was 8 o'clock and for the first time in months I wasn't ready to crash! I was shocked. And then it gets even better. This morning I woke up on my own at 7:30 a.m. I beat my alarm, and I didn't feel like a zombie! This is HUGE. But this is only the beginning.

Maybe I should attribute the added energy to nerves and stress and pending work deadlines, but I'm not going to. I really think there's something in all that green I've been eating. It's been exactly one week since I started the green smoothies, and I'm never going back. That was an easy decision to make. There's no question I'm on my way to healthy.

Today's smoothie wasn't too extravagant, but it went as follows:

1 cup orange juice
1 tablespoon coconut oil
7 strawberries

1/4 banana

2 handfuls spinach
1 handful ice cubes

1 1/2 scoops Nikken protein powder

Blend all ingredients together except for the protein powder. If you're using a Blentec, press the SMOOTHIE button. When the cycle has ended, add the protein powder and hold down PULSE for 5 seconds.

Tomorrow's smoothie will most likely include kale, peaches, and kiwi fruit. The rest of my breakfast will be a stack of wheat-free and dairy-free pancakes, thanks to Bob's Red Mill (and my dear mother who bought me the mix).

Alkaline vs. Acid Foods

Okay, you guys. This is really getting good now. I love doing all this research and knowing I'm onto something.

Saturday I went to dinner with a friend Emily who briefly explained her vegetarian eating habits. They were inspired by her grandpa, who converted over when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer 20 years ago. He's a walking miracle who's survived countless death sentences. They keep giving him a couple months to live, but who's counting after 20 x 12? Some quick math in my head says that's 240 more months than doctors ever imagined.

So in the process of our conversation, Emily explained that her grandpa and, more recently, her dad are on an alkaline diet. Ring any bells? I'd vaguely heard of it, but I do know from my years of chemistry that alkaline and acid are complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Our society's foods tend to be more acidic, so an alkaline diet brings our body back into balance.

So I haven't spent much time researching alkaline and acid foods in depth, but I just came across this food chart to give us something to build on. It was helpful to me, so maybe it will be helpful to you. Click directly on the chart images to read the text without a magnifying glass.

PS: I had my first taste of almond milk just a few minutes ago. Not bad, not bad at all. And it's even included on the alkaline side of the chart below.

 

This alkaline and acid food chart comes from the Energise for Life Web site.

What is a Green Smoothie?

A green smoothie is simply leafy greens and fruit blended together. Go to www.greensmoothiegirl.com, scroll down and watch a video on how to make one. There are also 3 pages of videos under the videos tab at the top right of the page.

This is how I make my smoothies in a 5 cup blender:
2 cups water
2 Tbsp Flax Oil
*1-3 Tbsp Coconut Oil

Any combination of leafy greens:
Kale, Purple Kale, Collards, Spinach, Red Chard, Bok Choy, any other dark leafy green
(I also include the stems on most of these)
Blend until smooth and fills to about the 3 cup line or higher. I usually fill the blender to the top with greens about 2 times to achieve this.

Add Fruit of your choice:
Bananas, strawberries, mango, blueberries, apples, pears, raspberries, blackberries, goji berries...
(I find adding a banana to my smoothie makes it more creamy)
Blend until smooth.

Easy way to drink the smoothie is with a straw. Smoothies can be stored in the refrigerator for up to 48 hours. I sometimes add supplements to my smoothies such as protein powder, brewers yeast (contains vitamin B12), or bee pollen. Take smoothies to work for a healthy snack or lunch. When you first start drinking green smoothies you may also experience detox symptoms which I will discuss in another post.

*If you are using coconut oil for the first time and do not have a good diet, I would recommend starting with 1 Tbsp a day and gradually increase, as you may experience a cleansing reaction if you start with too much.

Hot Pink Breakfast Smoothie

* 1 ½ cups coconut water
* 1 large carrot, cleaned and cut in 3 pieces (or 5-6 baby carrots)
* ½ a medium raw beet, peeled
* ¼ cup cashews
* ¼ cup chopped dates (inexpensive in bulk foods at a health food store)
* 2 tsp. vanilla
* 12 frozen strawberries
* optional: 1-2 Tbsp. hemp protein (available at health food stores or on Amazon)
* optional: 2 Tbsp. kefir or yogurt

Puree all ingredients except strawberries and hemp protein in BlendTec for 90 seconds. Add strawberries and puree on high until smooth. Add hemp protein for the last 5 seconds.

Raw beets are an excellent blood purifier, coconut liquid is packed with minerals and electrolytes, and how many breakfasts do you know that taste great and contain raw carrots and beets? Makes one quart, a 450-calorie breakfast that has 4 servings of fruits and vegetables, 15 percent plant protein, probiotics from the yogurt, and high-nutrition, unrefined fats in the cashews.
(GreenSmoothieGirl.com - 5/22/2008)

Whole Wheat Please

I'm quickly seeing that I can't instantly remove myself from the everyday social scenes where food is involved. I still want to eat out with friends on a Friday night and most of them aren't craving what's on the raw menu. So last night when a group of friends wanted to eat at Arella's Pizzaria—a new locally owned Italian place on 535 W. 400 N. in Bountiful—I looked up the menu online and then called the restaurant. I explained that I eat only whole wheat pizza crust and asked if they would be able to make my pizza with whole wheat bread dough. The girl said hold on, and when she came back on the line she said they would make me a special order of it! Can you believe that? It never hurts to ask. The great customer care, uniquely delicious wood fire oven pizzas, and huge, cozy booths will definitely take me back Arella's soon. Thanks for helping me eat right, Arella's!

PS: Since friends make everything more fun, Sam (who I mentioned in a previous post) is joining me on this blog. She's always the first one to say, "Please pass the green," and then she chows down because she knows what's good. I'm not quite up to her level yet. My ratio for veggies to fruits is about 1:5 and Sam's is 1:1. She's hardcore. And the best part about Sam is that she likes to keep passing the green on to everyone she knows. Bienvenido, Sameranth.

Smoothie #4

I picked up my blender Wednesday afternoon and have made one smoothie each day since. I've been throwing in an array of fruits—oranges, bananas, strawberries, tangerines, grapes, pineapples—and only a couple green veggies so far—spinach, broccoli, and chard.

I think today's concoction was my favorite—less fruit and more green. I'm hypoglycemic, so a banana a day doesn't do well for my head. Thursday and Friday I had headaches all day, and I have a feeling it was from getting too many fruits with high carb contents. Pineapple and grapes also have high carb contents (15%), but today I chose to eliminate the banana (20% carbs) and the protein powder to see how I feel. Here's what I'm drinking at the moment:

1 c. water
10 grapes
2 tangerines, peeled
2 slices pineapple w/ cores, frozen
2 handfuls fresh spinach, frozen
1 chard leaf, stem and all
6 ice cubes

Another tid bit of info: After making the smoothie, my roommate helped me get the lid off my tub of pure white coconut oil. It's beautiful and smells like island heaven. I've never actually been to the islands, but I've been to the Caribbean and it's the same to me. So I threw in 2 spoonfuls after the fact and then blended. It turned into little yummy coconut ice chunks, which I don't prefer, so I'll be sure to put the coconut oil in with the rest of the fruits and veggies or blend at a higher speed next time. Can't wait for the lauric acid to get busy doing it's job!

Friend or Foe to RA

I wish I'd known this months ago! Practically every morning I eat eggs and/or peanut butter on my toasted double-fiber English muffin, but now I know those may not be the smartest decision. "May not" is the key though. Everyone's body is different. This is why I keep doing my research. Thank you, Alternative Medicine Angel (info found at http://altmedangel.com/arthrits.htm). 

Much of this chart makes sense for my body, but at this point I don't think I'm prepared to give up eggs or peanut butter—it's getting harder and harder to find protein around here. And bell peppers are a personal fave, so I'll have to experiment and see how they affect me. Tonight for dinner I actually ate a whole-wheat pizza topped with red and yellow bell peppers and portabello mushrooms. We'll see how my joints feel tomorrow. My plan with eggs is to start eating organic and see if I notice a difference in my health. I love eggs too much to say good-bye so easily. I wonder what it is about eggs that annoys RA so much.

If you have trouble reading this chart, which should include everyone, click your mouse on it and it'll open it as a separate larger image. Then you can zoom in if you need to.

The Hidden Beauties of Coconut Oil

One of my latest, or Sammy's latest, discoveries is coconut oil. Hold on, because these findings are going to blow you away. My friend Sam told me about this healthy substitute for butter, vegetable oil, margarine, shortening, etc., because as she was researching it, she came across the news that coconut oil helps treat hypoglycemia, hyperthyroidism, candida, parasites, viruses, and colon cancer. The words jumped off the monitor at her and screamed "Katie! Katie needs to know this!" She apologized to me in advance, explaining that she didn't want to tell me how to eat, but she just had to share what she'd found. That's what friends are for, right? I would've been mad at her if she hadn't told me about coconut oil.


So what's the big deal about this stuff? A lot. Coconut oil has anti-viral properties because it is about 50% lauric acid, which is a major component of mothers' breast milk to help fight infection while babies' immune systems are still developing. Dr. Mary Enig, a Ph.D. nutritionist/biochemist and an expert on fats and oils says, "Lauric acid is a medium chain fatty acid, which has the additional beneficial function of being formed into monolaurin in the human or animal body. Monolaurin is the antiviral, antibacterial, and antiprotozoal monoglyceride used by the human or animal to destroy lipid coated viruses such as HIV, herpes, cytomegalovirus, influenza, various pathogenic bacteria including listeria monocytogenes and heliobacter pylori, and protozoa such as giardia lamblia. Some studies have also shown some antimicrobial effects of the free lauric acid," (quote found at Alternative Healthzine).


Coconut oil is also the leading oil for weight loss, and it helps the body balance the thyroid. Read more about coconut oil's health benefits by going to Coconut-Info.com, Advance Health and also Green Smoothie Girl. Do some of your own research too and see if you can't find a reason to give coconut oil a try to feel healthier and treat your body better.


So although coconut oil is one of my hot new discoveries, I have yet to try it! I've been dying to get my hands on some, and as luck would have it, the gallon of coconut oil I ordered 5 whole days ago just arrived on my front porch. Who's ready for a batch of kettle corn or some sauteed zucchini. Yum! The only problem, the lid is sealed like the top of a frozen juice can and my fingers can't grip it and pull. So I must wait till another pair of hands comes home. My positive thinking says that by the time I go through this whole gallon of coconut oil and receive the next one in the mail, my arthritis will be next to nothing and my hands will be strong enough to open the lid without the help of no one. I know these are lofty goals.


P.S.– Make sure you get virgin cold press/unrefined coconut oil. That's the best. I bought mine from Mountain Rose Herbs because I'd heard that they sell the cheapest high-quality coconut oil around. Let me know if you find otherwise.

I've got to admit . . .

. . . it's getting better. A little better all the time. Since you've been mine.

When I found out that the BlendTec demo guy is currently camped out at the Costco in St. George, about 5 hours from my house,  I called my dear friend Heather who happens to reside in St. George. I just knew I couldn't wait 11 whole days for the traveling blender man to make his way back up north—his next stop is actually Orem from 4/16 to 4/24 and then on to Lehi and Bountiful. As luck would have it, Heather's brother was visiting her from the land northward, so the two of them bought it from the St. George Costco yesterday, he drove home that same day, and then I drove to his house to pick it up today!

How far will you go for a BlendTec?

When you know you've come to the end . . . or the beginning.

So I'd driven into a parking garage, rolled down my window, and was frantically straining to reach the ticket. The only problem was I couldn't lift my left arm to save my life because of elbow bursitis, so I was pressed against the car door, flopping my right arm out the window and trying not to cry out in pain. I thought, "This is it! I'm done. I can't do this anymore. Something has to change." That was almost a week ago, the day I turned 29.

And things did start to change. I researched better food choices on my own and listened to health insights of friends—they somehow must've sensed I was gathering health information. Over this past weekend I shared with some friends and family that I was now ready to jump right into a lifestyle of green smoothies, blender buying, and making my own almond milk.

Then on Monday I hit the end again. I had class and missed the bus, so I drove myself to campus instead. All parking meters were occupied, so I ended up down the hill, about a quarter of a mile from class. In the process of parallel parking, I tweaked my bad elbow (frustration no.1). Then I started limping up the hill because I now have arthritis in my right knee (frustration no.2) and a foot with a stress fracture (frustration no.3). Writing all this makes me feel like a negligant parent, like I should hand myself over to the officials for abuse. Anyways, I'm done feeling bad. So in that moment I felt irked and I wanted to cry because I didn't like what's happening in my life.

Monday's experience reinforced that I cannot wait any longer to make a new healthy beginning. So that beginning is tomorrow. Hah! No, really. I'm not procrastinating. This is the real thing. Why tomorrow? Because tomorrow I start life with the BlendTec. Stay tuned for all the major food changes that lie ahead, like fresh applesauce, natural homemade peanut butter, and green smoothies galore. The experiment is about to begin!

The Green Experiment

I feel like I'm embarking on a never-ending road trip, which is why I'm inviting you along. Who wants to road trip alone on an endless and everywhere adventure? Not me. And instead of gorging ourselves on Milk Duds and pork rinds for hours on end, we're going to be chowing down on fresh sauteed veggies and gloriously green smoothies and homemade hummus. Lots of hummus.

Each one of us is responsible for what we chew and swallow, but how often do we really pay attention to the ingredients we're inhaling until we're sick and in pain and bloated and unhappy with life? Or until our taste buds are raw from eating a whole monster bag of Skittles?

My null hypothesis: Eating more whole and raw foods will eliminate all my health problems, plain and simple. I don't want to be on pain killers or immune suppressants or steroids—I want to get to the root of the problem (pun intended) instead of masking it. To be honest, I don't know if all this green eating will cure me completely, but I have plenty of hope and am ready to try anything. Learn from me, teach me what you know, and we'll see what all this natural eating can do to give us a better quality of life.

My plan is to attack the following: rheumatoid arthritis (RA), osteoarthritis (OA), bursitis, hypoglycemia, colon cancer, hyperthyroidism, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), candida, Strep G, and Epstein Barr Virus (EBV). As the author, I also have the freedom to add to the list as I remember other things that ail me. Hopefully my findings along the way will be of some help to you.

My New Favorite Medicine

I think I like this advice. And I may start following it on a weekly basis. Thai Tuesdays anyone?

"An ancient spice, long used in traditional Asian medicine, may hold promise for the prevention of both rheumatoid arthritis and osteoporosis, according to a recently completed study at The University of Arizona College of Medicine. It is encouraging news for millions of senior citizens concerned about both conditions. Turmeric, the spice that flavors and gives its yellow color to many curries and other foods, has been used for centuries by practitioners of Ayurvedic medicine to treat inflammatory disorders.

"Turmeric extract containing the ingredient curcumin is marketed widely in the Western world as a dietary supplement for the treatment and prevention of a variety of disorders, including arthritis.

"The researchers found that the curcuminoid extract inhibits a transcription factor called NF-KB from being activated in the joint. A transcription factor is a protein that controls when genes are switched on or off. Once the transcription factor NF-KB is activated, or turned on, it binds to genes and enhances production of inflammatory proteins, destructive to the joint. The finding that curcuminoid extract inhibits activation of NF-KB suggests that turmeric dietary supplements share the same mechanism of action as anti-arthritic pharmaceuticals under development that target NF-KB.

"It also suggests that turmeric may have a use in other inflammatory disorders, such as asthma, multiple sclerosis and inflammatory bowel disease.

"In addition to preventing joint inflammation, Dr. Funk's study shows that the curcuminoid extract blocked the pathway that affects bone resorption. Noting that bone loss associated with osteoporosis in women typically begins before the onset of menopause, she has begun work on another NIH-funded study to determine whether turmeric taken as a dietary supplement during perimenopause can prevent bone loss and osteoporosis.

"Both of the studies are supported by the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) and the Office of Dietary Supplements (ODS), both of the NIH" (from www.seniorjournal.com).

I wonder if you can overdose on yellow curry?

Rheumatoid Arthritis: The Real Thing, Baby?

The Timeline

Oct 8, 2009–Feb 25, 2010: Katie thinks she just has Bursitis all this time. Bursitis is caused by either (1) sports or trauma, (2) rheumatoid arthritis, or (3) infection, and it feels worse than death. Then the Bursitis-like pain starts coming more frequently and spreads from shoulder to shoulder to hand to foot to jaw. Her throat even starts hurting when she touches the outside of it or turns her head. It was nothing she'd ever felt before and when she swallowed it felt scraping on cartilage . . . because Katie knows what scraping cartilage feels like, just like she knows what death feels like.

Feb 25, 2010 (thursday): Student health center doctor checks Katie out and does blood work to test for rheumatoid arthritis, which is "a chronic and progressive disease where the immune system attacks the joints. It is characterized by pain, inflammation and swelling of the joints, stiffness, weakness, loss of mobility, and deformity. Tissues throughout the body can be affected, including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and muscles" (Wikipedia, I believe).

Mar 1, 2010 (monday): Rheumatoid panel comes back positive, which means Katie could have rheumatoid arthritis (RA), lupus, or another autoimmune disease. X-rays show no joint damage in shoulders, hand, and foot, but foot has a stress fracture (from doing absolutely nothing). Doctor tells her to see a rheumatologist to properly diagnose her. She also tells Katie to see a foot specialist for orthotics.

Mar 8, 2010 (monday): Katie sees her holistic doctor Barbara, who has saved the day countless times past. The diagnosis is that multiple kinds of parasites have come to life again in Katie's body, particularly in Katie's connective tissue . . . just like what happened on Katie's mission in Venezuela in 2003. Back then parasites had set up camp in Katie's right shoulder, but she was treated for them when she got home and her shoulder felt great within a week. The return of her friends is due to an overdose of estress and other health issues that weakened her, which gave them free reign of her body. This time around Katie thought there was no way she could have parasites in her shoulders because she hadn't left the country in a year. (Katie likes talking in the 3rd person.)

Katie also has Strep G, which is body Strep and attacks the joints. She got different forms of Staph infections when she went to Argentina in 2007 and Egypt in 2008, so this wasn't surprising. Katie's earlier unusual throat pain was connected to the Strep G too. And bones, arthritis, and pain came up as the number 1, number 2, and number 3 problems in Katie's body. BUT . . . the arthritis showing itself didn't appear to be RA. Barbara said, "Now I may be wrong, but it doesn't look like you have RA, although you do have arthritis."

Mar 10, 2010 (wednesday): Katie sees a rheumatologist for the first time. In preparation she researched everything Barbara had told her and made sure to sound knowledgeable enough to ask the doctor viable questions. Katie's main desire is that the doctor take into consideration that the inflammation could be caused by infection (i.e., parasites and bacteria) before diagnosing her with something she doesn't have and prescribing medicine she doesn't need. After Katie explains all of her symptoms and the doctor checks her out, the doctor agrees that she doesn't think Katie has RA, primarily because Katie's pains aren't displaying themselves symmetrically like normal RA patients and Katie's white blood cell count is normal. Most people with autoimmune diseases have high white blood cells counts because their body is attacking itself. The rheumatologist has Katie do some more blood work to make sure it's not Hep B or C or RA. This final RA test is called the anti-CCP and is more sensitive than the Rheumatoid panel. If the results are positive, it will confirm that Katie has RA. The doctor tells Katie it sounds like parasites are the cause and to come back in a week and a half for ultrasound on her shoulders and hands.

March 16, 2010 (yesterday): Test results are back, and Katie tested positive on the anti-CCP, which measures the amount of antibodies in a person. Normal is 1–20. Katie scores 153. Rheumatologist says that Katie's in the early stages of RA. Katie will see the rheumatologist again on Thursday March 25th for ultrasound.

A little in denial, Katie does more research. Her roommate Ashley is a PA and joins her in the research. Ashley's hypothesis is that since Katie's symptoms are not typical RA, the cause is still bacteria and parasites, but RA is showing up in the blood work because Katie's genes show RA. People who feel great but have RA dormant in them will show up positive on the RA tests. Katie has RA but it has not yet shown itself or is now just starting (for a week and a half now the joints of my fingers have killed, but still not in the normal RA fashion).


The current dilemma: When it comes to early RA, doctors want to aggressively treat to prevent the joints from quickly deteriorating. Medications such as Methotrexate (a drug first used in the 1960s to treat cancer)  are powerful and can do serious damage to your organs. If I don't have to be on Methotrexate (or any others drugs), I don't want to be. You can't be on it when you're pregnant, once you've been on it you could be unable to conceive, and some of it may still in your system even once you're off it and pregnant, causing birth defects. I've talked to a handful of people who have RA, and many of them have had bad side effects from the medicine. My new friend Liz I met last night (her roommate brought me dinner) went into shock upon taking the medication and her mom had to call 911. And then they pumped her stomach.

To sum up the overall feeling I have, I feel beyond blessed that I'm finding out I have RA while it's in the early stages, and even though I've usually been facetious when I've called my herds of parasites "friends," I can't help but thank them, first for saving me from colon cancer and then from full-onset RA. I didn't think that'd make me emotional but it did. Here's picture of a few of them to quitarme (that's Spanish) of that, even though this picture really isn't that horrifying compared to the others I could've posted.

So the research will continue and so will more talks with God. I know He's guiding me every step of the way.

I darn well better create.

The events of the past couple weeks have allowed me, prodded me, shoved me into reflection. My life is now in 3-D—in my face and quickly unraveling (in a good way) the realities of what I may not be able to do months, years from now. I've reclaimed my paint brushes, I'm appreciating my Mon/Wed morning walks, and I'm paying more attention to the independence I currently have. If I must start wearing pants with elastic waist bands because I can't do zippers or tuck in my shirt, I'm going to embrace it and wear the coolest zipperless pants you've ever seen. Whatever the future brings, I'm enjoying today. This life isn't the end, and there is plenty of eternity for me to rock climb and swim laps and do the wave and pick up babies.

Just now in meandering through my journal I came across this. I don't remember writing it, but I know I wrote it for me to read today.

"2.28.09. I need to take my journal with me so my thoughts aren't scattered on pieces of scratch paper only to be lost and later thrown away. If I say I'm an artist and want to be an artist and thrive on creating, I darn well better create. What am I waiting for? Paint, dress, design, decorate, collage, scheme, muster, plaster, cut, draw, scribble, illuminate, ponder, portray, portrait, sketch, capture. And then share!!! I need to do what makes me happy and lets my talents unfold. I need to finish what I start and whittle through my mental pile of unfinished creations. I don't have to hang out with someone because I feel bad. My time is valuable and can never be replaced. If I love the Lord I will spend time with Him. (Thanks for putting it so well, Elder Wirthlin.) Expand. Breathe deep. Open my heart. Let nature inspire. Take care of my mortal body. Express myself. Eliminate chaos and confusion and mediocrity. Let the Spirit confound and engage and excite. Trust. Cut fear from my vocabulary and banish it from my existence. Allow people in. Find comfort in past experiences, but keep building upward on them. And live today, live in the moment—don't already be too preoccupied with the next, the future."

Surpassing gratitude . . .

for unrestrained, eye-watering yawns.
 for being able to feed myself, spoon to mouth just like that.
   for driving carefree while in the midst of utter recklessness—very rare for me but very empowering.
     for the deep. The subsurface, the substance, the raw and undefiled.
       for the divine in the most simple of creations—the Plan in the most unimaginable of situations.