I've been praying that the joint pain in my right pointer finger, which has all the RA symptoms, would really just be the infection and parasites and Strep G that are in all my other joints. But when I asked Barbara to look at that finger specifically, the computer clearly said RA. My faith is often like our eyes when we're starving and pile our plates high with more food than we could ever swallow. My faith likes to accept every challenge fearlessly, but it doesn't know what patience means. So when Barbara told me it was RA, it was almost like a slap in the face. I've been so, so healthy the past couple months. Shouldn't I be better by now?
But now that I've had time to reflect, I feel like God is telling me, "I know you think you know what you're capable of, but Katie, I'm about to show you that you are capable of so much more." And even more powerfully He's saying, "Watch what I can do. If you'll let me, I'll work an even mightier miracle for you. You haven't seen nothin' yet." I trust Him, I do. He's healed me so many times before that I can never doubt His power, but this is to a new height. I'm wondering if He wants me to prove Him to the point that he lets me see the physical affects of RA so that He can heal me, change me visibly. It makes me heart ache because of the love He has for me and ache because I feel like a little child afraid to jump off the diving board. I guess we'll just have to see what He has in store.
PS: The most beautiful sun is making my backyard radiate and shimmer. It wants me to come out and swing for a minute and pick the pretty purple wildflowers growing through the grass. It doesn't even care that I'm still in my pajamas.
6 comments:
Sigh. Your faith amazes me, Mildred. I need to take a page out of your book and remember my trails will just take me higher...
Thanks for the reminder, friend
You are such an author Kate! And just wondering about that backyard opportunity..did you do it? Romania would have...=)
First of all I love you both! Thanks for reading my blog. It makes me feel like someone's there.
I did play in the backyard! You're right—Romania would've too.:) I picked a handful of pretty purple wildflowers (aka, weeds) and put some in a water on the kitchen table and some in the pressed pages of my journal, Venezuelan-style.
We're here. Reading your blog and thinking of you when we're not :)
Speaking of Romania, I wanted to tell you I was with a group of girls this week, just chatting and hanging out into the wee hours of the night. One of them brought up something about The Generations Project. I said my friend did an episode. She asked which one. I said, "Katie, she was interested in her families medical history"...and my friend was off telling the rest of the group all about your episode. It was like she was telling everyone about a friend of hers! It's since hit me, you are her friend now. You don't know her but she knows you, she is attached to you and your story. Finally, she took a breath, turned to me and said, "She's chipper!" I laughed :) "Yes she is" I replied.
You are an influence for good to so many people. You're amazing!
YOu have such a strong testimony, it truly strengthens mine. Luv ya!
You have so much faith! Keep inspiring all around you. Love you.
Post a Comment